Getting Dumped: It's A Click Away

Be warned. Technology can ruin your life.

This guy I know, Rob, called me today with a fantastic story; fantastic in the sense that it made me laugh and cringe and feel sick, all at the same time. Pretty good, huh?

Rob works with another guy, let's call him George, who is notorious for being a Grade A slag. If prostitutes didn't exist then George would probably invent them. He likes to put it about, doesn't care where, and thinks that variety is the spice of life. You might think, well, whatever, so long as he isn't hurting anyone, so long as it's all between consenting adults. Whatever. The problem is that George has a long-term girlfriend who's he's supposed to be marrying after Christmas.

George is the guy who whisked his girlfriend off to Thailand for a romantic holiday, announced shortly after checking into their hotel that he was off for a jog, jogged round the corner, picked up a whore and proceeded to engage in a very different kind of exercise to the one that his poor unsuspecting missus believed he was pursuing. Yep, George was puffing and panting and going red in the face but it sure wasn't from pounding the pavements.

You kind have to admire the guy for sheer front and creativity, but Jeez... what a sleazebag.

Anyway, George has a female fuck-buddy who he's been seeing for years, alongside the girlfriend, the whores and the countless one-nighters. So when George and the girlfriend go off to Cyprus to introduce him to her extended family prior to the wedding, George is delighted to find out that the fuck-buddy is going to be taking a holiday in the same Cyprus beach resort at the same time. After all, you can't expect a seasoned pro like George to restrict himself to sex with just the one woman for a full ten days, can you?

So George goes off to Cyprus with the girlfriend, does lots of hand-shaking and back-slapping with the Cyprus relatives, then sneaks off to an internet cafe to arrange a rendezvous with the fuck-buddy.

Unfortunately for George, when he sends his love-missive, instead of just sending it to the fuck-buddy he mistakenly sends the email to his entire address book - including the girlfriend, the girlfriend's mum, dad and two brothers, his own parents, all his colleagues and practically everyone else he has ever met in his life.

The content of this email message? Something along the lines of: Hello sexy. Been thinking about you all week. Can't wait to fuck you. I'll come to your hotel tomorrow at 3pm. Get ready for the shag of your life.

Guess what? The wedding's off.