Is Commercial The New Cool?

This new barmaid started work at the club last night. She's young, really young, and a dead-ringer for Debbie Harry rewound twenty-plus years.

She started out on my bar - I guess I was supposed to train her up or something, although let's face it it's not rocket science -and in between serving liquids to the desperate hoards, she turns to me and goes, how old are you, Sara? I'm like, I'm twenty-seven. She gets all twisty around the mouth, regards me with pity and goes, Oh. I'm like, oh? Oh what? She's like, nothing, just that's kind of old, isn't it? I'm like, you reckon? She goes, well, yeah. So I go, and what does that mean? She makes a face and says, I just can't imagine being that old, I can't imagine being that old and still being me, y'know? I'm like, well I don't know because I'm still me at my advanced age, so I guess you've got some serious thinking to do on how you're going to manage to survive past the age of twenty. And then I make her empty ashtrays and sweep up spills for the rest of the night.

I'm kind of pissed off for a while. And then I start thinking that maybe I am on the way to Past It. I mean, I remember when I was nineteen that anything past twenty-five was like, Life Over, past thirty was Practically Dead, and forty-plus didn't even register on the radar. But here I am, three years away from Practically Dead, and I'm still thinking that I'm pretty fucking cool. Am I kidding myself? Am I involved in some serious self-deception? Does the younger generation look at me and think, no way granny. Not that I really give a shit what a load of spotty hoodies with their trousers hanging halfway to their knees think of me, not like that gives any meaning to my life, but it's kind of weird.

Why is it that teens think they own being cool, and that by definition, if you're one second past twenty-five then you can't be cool?First off, being a teenager has changed. I run the risk of sounding nostagic here, just like an old wrinkly, but when I was sixteen or so being cool was all about being alternative. Yeah, it was also about getting pissed and laid and doing whatever drugs we could get our hands on, and I doubt that's changed at all - especially as it's not like any new drugs have been invented in the past ten years -but it wasn't about buying into the brands. For the 'instant gratification' generation being cool is about owning the right stuff - the ipod, the latest mobile, listening to chart hits, wearing the right labels. Being cool is about obeying the marketing men and coming up with the cash to buy what you're told is hot. I mean, how uncool is that?

Or maybe this kind of commerical cool is truly radical in that it's a total rejection of being alternative?

Fuck, I don't know, but it all seems kind of lame to me.

Maybe I should just accept that I'm getting old and that it's time to trade in my dancing shoes for a pair of comfy old slippers. Yeah, right....