Monday, October 31, 2005

Singing the blues

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. But I suppose that's to be expected considering the punishment I put my my seratonin nodes through on Saturday. My brain feels like deep-fried Camembert and my body looks like it's aged forty-eight years in as many hours. Oh, poor me...

I also feel like a bit of an idiot.

James was lovely on Sunday morning, especially considering that he was probably expecting a night of torrid sex and all he got was a frozen physical wreck who wasn't up for anything more than a cuddle. I mean, let's face it, you treat a girl to a swanky hotel in the hope of a supremely dirty weekend, she talks you into dropping your first e and then she freaks out. Not the best scenario, is it? If I were him, I would probably never talk to me again.

But James was Mr Super Considerate. I really can't figure him out. Took me home early on Sunday morning as requested, helped me into the house (yes, I was that fragile), looked me deep in the eyes, and told me that if I needed him to just call and he'd be over like a shot. Then he kissed me gently and took off.

All this perfection - it's almost too much for me.

God, I'm a cow, aren't I?

12 comments:

positronic said...

No you're not a cow. And James sounds like a cool guy. Better luck next weekend mate. Stop feeling bad and get yourself a mug o' good ol' tea. With coffeemate. Trust me, it works, and it's healthy. I didn't go blind.

Anonymous said...

Yes

kimmyk said...

he sounds like a good guy.
least ya didn't throw up on him or in his car right?
that says somethin bout how ya feel i think...cause had it been me...i probably would have tossed my cookies.
and for the record-i dont think you're a cow...

WDKY said...

No, you're not a cow, but perhaps your jusgement - not only in wanting to pop a tab yourself bit also in terms of the timing with regard to introducing the idea to James - was seriously off. Still, life's full of these wonderful lessons, and it seems to me the whole episode may prove to have been important to/for you in a positve sense.

And James sounds okay!

Juggling Mother said...

Aging 48 years in 48 hours is par for the course at your age. Grab some sleep & some caffiene & you lose 48 years just as easily. At my age it takes a lot more effort to lose the years:-(

James sounds lovely. Hang on to him, but don't let him know how hard!

bummer on the pill. Bad trips on E are reasonably rare, but can be doozies when they happen. Drugs need proper regulations sop we can all know what we're taking - just say no is the stupidist advice I have ever heard anyone give!

Kate B. said...

pos - I know I can always rely on you to make me feel better. :-)
anon - lol I like your honesty
kimmyk - it was a close call :-)
wdky - yes, I have a feeling that you're right. Impetuous decisions seem to be a speciality of mine. This was not one of my better ones.
mrs aginoth - I have no idea how old you are but you seem pretty cool to me. Would you adopt me, please?

Harry the Hire said...

you're single, you've got no kids, you're under 30: if I had all those things going for me I'd still be misbehaving every now and again, and again, and again. I'd feel awful about it afterwards, every time, and I'd tell myself I'm too old for it and never again, but some of us are just cut out for it and some of us aren't. Nothing to be proud of, really, but nor should you feel ashamed - that's just how it is.

Despite your protestations to the contrary I'm sure you'll end up in a relationship, with a partner and kids one of these days (in fact, I would put a thousand quid on it even if you offered me odds of 1:5 - hey, 200 quid isn't a bad win.)

You're just not the live-alone-forever type, I'm sorry to say. As I said a while ago, if you were you wouldn't be trying to convince yourself so often.

I'll also put another thousand quid on your taking another E before the year's out.

Now what odds are you giving me?

Anonymous said...

Wow, Bummer that you're still feeling so bad. But in a few days you'll be back to your sexy, sassy self!

How James handled the situation really says alot about him..Girl, you better hang on to him....

Learn the lesson from the experience and move on... self-pity never helped anyone... :)

Networkchic said...

You are lucky, you found one of the good ones. I'd say if they spend all that money on you, still don't get sex, but stick around anyway - they're a keeper.

NML/Natalie said...

Gosh, I can't believe you took an e on your weekend away! Mind you, I'm a bit innocent when it comes to drugs, but it sounds like you had a hard weekend. He sounds like a nice guy, but the next time he takes you away, give him a good shag. I suspect he'll probably enjoy that more ;-)

Sky said...

He definitely sounds like a keeper. If you don't want him send him my way...lol. That would be a change for me, a man that cares.

TJ said...

as much as it pains me to acknowledge it, this James is starting to sound like he could be a decent chap.

seriously, as long as you were taken care of and safe, that was the most important thing he could do for you.

I'll be looking forward to reading about how things progress, hoping that the experience is a positive one for you no matter what.